Excessive Subordination
Jared Aragona
Excessive Coordination or Subordination: To improve clarity, break sentences with too many clauses into multiple independent sentences.
Excessive coordination and subordination:
A low quiz grade can be a stressful and painful part of anyone’s day, but studying helps, so I went down to the library where I found a good place to study, which I was extremely relieved about because I knew I couldn’t take another low grade this semester.
Fixed:
A low quiz grade can be a stressful and painful part of anyone’s day, but studying helps. I went down to the library where I found a good place to study. I was extremely relieved about it because I knew I couldn’t take another low grade this semester.
Better:
A low quiz grade can be a stressful and painful part of anyone’s day. Because studying helps, I reserved a space in the library’s quiet room. I was relieved about scheduling time to focus, because I knew I couldn’t take another low grade this semester.
The MLCKRB (Master List Code Key and Rule Book): An English Grammar & Style Handbook by Jared Aragona, CC BY 4.0
